Before
we really begin looking at this commandment today, I want to remind you of
something that I said a few weeks ago about the structure of the Ten
Commandments. I said that the whole
thing consists of what is known as the two tables. There is a division of the commandments
so-to-speak, with the first four commandments pertaining to our
responsibilities to God (our vertical responsibilities) and the final six
pertaining to how we relate to one another (our horizontal responsibilities). However, if you’ve noticed thus far, all of
the commandments, regardless of which table they fall on; carry within them a
certain level of responsibility or commitment to God. Obviously, when it comes to those first four
dealing with worshiping Him alone, having no other gods, keeping His name holy,
and remembering His day, it’s easy to see the commitment to God within them;
it’s easy to see how God is honored through their keeping. Now the fifth commandment, the one about
honoring our parents, carries with it a sense of how we can’t honor and revere
God if we don’t first learn to honor and revere our parents, and ultimately love
all of our neighbors. The sixth
commandment, the one against murder, is a command for the preservation of creatures
created by God in the image of God. It
is a command for the preservation of God’s children who bear His image. In essence, the past few weeks we have looked
at what we might could called “gateway” commandments. By this, I mean commandments that help us to
develop the principles of worship that we are to have for God by fostering them
within our horizontal lives and relationships first. Well, the seventh commandment is no
different. Also, much like the
commandment last Sunday against murder, this commandment consists of only two
Hebrew words, which literally translate to “no adultering.” You
see, for far too long, this commandment has been seen simply as forbidding
married persons from having intimate physical relationships outside the
covenant bond of marriage. Well, this
commandment does indeed forbid such behaviors, but it does so much more, and
that’s what we’re going to look at today.
We’re going to look at what all this commandment actually forbids, we’re
going to look at why it’s so, and we’re going to see how God is honored through
our keeping of this commandment.
Out of our
closest friends, Amy and I were the first to get married. We were the first to have a child, the first
to have multiple kids, and in some cases, had number three on the way as some
friends were just starting to want kids themselves. This being the case, we never understood the
mentality that so many take which says “well, they’re around our age and they’re
doing ____, so I guess I need to do _____.”
No, we’ve always just kind of done what we wanted to and prayed that if
we were making the wrong decision that God would intervene and stop us before
we got too far. However, I have a good
friend whose wife doesn’t share our outlook on things. Several years back, she wanted kids, largely
because others were having kids. Her
husband knew that she was not ready for them, but that she was letting the
situations and actions of others affect her judgment. His solution:
get her a puppy. She would see
how much time a puppy took and realize that she was in no way ready for the
commitment of time that is raising children.
Also, this would cause her to begin the process of fostering the habits
and mindset needed for caring for something.
Now, I could go on and tell you how many dogs they ended up getting
before having kids (2, nearly 3), but I think you get the idea.
Why do I tell
you this story? Well, much like my
friend was hoping for his wife to develop an understanding of the time required
to raise something, care for it, and nurture it, we learn to honor God through
our earthly relationships. Obviously
this isn’t an apples-to-apples comparison, but I think you get the
picture. When we grow in our understanding
of how we are to treat those around us according to what God has commanded,
then we develop the skills (all-be-it at an infantile level) that are necessary
for worship of God. Well, marriage is a
covenant; it is a covenantal relationship between a man and a women. Even if they have not met yet, each of them
have a responsibility to not defile or deprave that covenant with someone (or
something) else. It is an earthly
relationship that has to do with fidelity and commitment to one person. This being the case, I have often heard the
excuse that if someone isn’t married, then they can’t commit adultery. Well, that’s not exactly true. It might be true from a worldly perspective,
but that’s not what we’re talking about here.
Remember, we’re dealing with the Law as it was given to us by God. God’s Law isn’t always exactly reflected in
the law of this world. Much like last
Sunday, we need to look to Jesus’ own clarification of this commandment in the
Sermon on the Mount. Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall
not commit adultery.’ But I say to you
that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed
adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5:27-28 ESV). In other words, much like with murder, just
because there is no outward act doesn’t mean that this commandment hasn’t been
violated. When one person looks upon
another person lustfully, then they have committed adultery. There doesn’t have to be anything physical
for the covenant bond of marriage to be broken and the vows shattered.
I have a dear
friend right now who after many years of marriage found himself burned
out. He was burned out on his career,
his marriage, and really everything else around him. He brushed it off for so long as the usual
pattern of life, until one day things began to change. He and a female
co-worker of his began to emotionally and conversationally invest heavily in
one another. At first, it was a little
odd, but nothing that we would consider adulterous. However, over time, it transformed into
something much more serious. These two
individuals started investing a majority of their time and energy and efforts
into one another and not into their marriages.
Eventually, the marriages decayed, and all that was left was hurt and
sadness, hatred and anger, emptiness and loss.
There was never anything physical that happened between these two
people, both of whom I call friends and both of whom are very Godly
people. However, the title that is given
to what took place between them is an affair, its adultery. Anything that has the potential to lead to
the breaking or tearing down of the covenant of marriage is a violation of this
commandment. Hence why I said that
adultery can take place even before someone comes to know the person with whom
God has given them to enter into this covenant with. If you don’t think I’m right about this then
answer me this one question, “What if you found out that a person that you were
in a relationship with of any kind (dating, business, friendship) had some deep
dark past that you knew nothing about and upon finding out about it your
opinion of them immediately changed? It
would cause you to think differently about that person and that relationship
wouldn’t it?” Unfortunately, I’ve seen
this happen more times when it comes to marriage than with any other
relationship.
So, ultimately,
we have to answer the question as to how God is honored through the fidelity of
an individual and the keeping of this commandment. Well, I think the answer is twofold. First, marriage is something that is very
unique. By unique, I’m referring to the
fact that we know that it is something that is completely good and true. How do we know this? We know this because the first marriage
existed before the fall. That’s right,
Adam and Eve were husband and wife before the fall ever happened. There are very few things that we have a
record of as they existed prior to the fall, but marriage is one of them. Therefore, we know that it is something
instituted and honored by God, and not just some man-made social construct that
has the magical power to grant tax benefits.
The second, and probably less obvious, way in which God is honored
through our keeping of this commandment is that it is an exercise of covenant
loyalty. When we are faithful in a
marriage, then the covenant that each party has sworn to is never violated and
never broken. By showing covenant
loyalty to our spouse, we are developing and building the habit of showing
covenant loyalty to our God. Think about
it, when God speaks of Israel in terms of their violation of the covenant
between themselves and God, He refers to them as an “adulterous nation.” He doesn’t mean that they have had a physical
relationship with another nation. No,
God, when using the term adulterous, is referring to Israel’s violation of a
covenantal relationship that they have with another; in this particular
case: God.
There is
perhaps not one of these commandments that are more frequently violated than
that of this commandment. Don’t get me
wrong, each and every one of them are violated by all people (even Christians)
on a fairly regular basis. However, this
one, it takes the cake. Remember back
when I read the words of Jesus a moment ago when he said that to even look
lustfully upon another is adultery.
Every person in her knows what I mean when I say that and every person
in here ought to be scared to death at that fact. So, how is it that we’re not all completely
scared? Well, I’ll tell you why;
Jesus. Once again (and I know that I
have said it every week but it’s true every week), the blood of Jesus covers
all of our sins. It covers dishonor, it
covers murder, and it covers adultery.
It covers the violation of the covenant that exists between God and His
people. As we’ve said, we are still to
strive to keep the Ten Commandments, but we must also remember that we will
fall short of them. However, instead of
looking at them as a set of unattainable goals, we are to see them as a mirror
for how far we continuously fall short of the standard that God has set for us. Remember this, we are to live lives that
honor the covenant that we have (or will make) to our spouses, and we are to
honor the covenant that we have with God as part of His chosen people. However, never forget, that even in those
moments where we slip up, we fall short, or we find ourselves violating either
covenant, there is forgiveness and atonement to be found in the blood of Jesus
Christ. We all need to continue to thank
God that despite our numerous failures in our earthly and heavenly
relationships, that our salvation is not based upon how well we have kept these
commandments, but on how fully Christ has already fulfilled them on our behalf. Glory be to God; in the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
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