Today
we begin what is commonly known as the second table of the Ten
Commandments. Notice that I said second
table, and not second tablet; there’s a difference. As I briefly mentioned back a few weeks ago
(and as many of you probably already knew) the two tablets of the Ten
Commandments were actually copies of one list.
Each of the two tablets contained the Ten Commandments in their
entirety. There was a copy for God and a
copy for Israel, each of the two parties in the agreement. That’s not what I’m talking about here when
I refer to the second table. You see,
the first four commandments are known as the first table. These can be described as man’s
responsibilities to God or God’s requirements of man. The second table, consisting of the fifth through
tenth commandments, contains the commandments pertaining to how man is to deal
and interact with his fellow man. It is
how we are to relate to one another. So
to recap, the first four are how we relate to God and the final six are how we
relate to one another. It’s really quite
astounding to think that the basis or summation of how we are to relate to one
another in a Christian community can be found and summed up in such a short
text (verses 12-17). However, God is the
author of all things and who better to be able to so precisely state how we are
to interact with one another than the One who created all of us, the One who
created all that is in this world. And
before we get into this commandment, I was to point out one thing about this
second table that comes to us today. The
second half of verse 12, “that your days
may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” doesn’t just
apply to our text for today. No, it
applies to all of the commandments included in the second table. It applies to the fifth through tenth
commandment. It is the reward or the
promise that we receive for our keeping of these commandments. It is the reward, promise, and blessing that
Christ achieved for all of us through his atoning sacrifice. Hear that again,
even though we continuously fail to live up to our part of the agreement, we
still have all the blessings because of the sacrificing death of Christ.
Now,
this commandment, just like all the other commandments, has been a little
misused or misunderstood historically, at least in my opinion. Unfortunately, I have seen and heard many folks
use this commandment as an excuse for improper behavior or as an attempt to get
what they want. I seen this commandment
typically thought of as a directive used by parents to give order to their
children. This commandment reads, “Honor your father and your mother.” I’ll be the first one to tell you, that of
all the commandments that deal with our earthly relationships, this one is
probably the one that I violated the most in my youth. That’s not to say that I didn’t or don’t love
my parents, but there was a time when my honor for them was pretty
non-existent. I’ll speak more on this in
a moment, but I want to first point out why I think that this is so commonplace
in our world today. You see, we live in
a world that rejects authority. I don’t
care who you are, there’s a good chance that one of your favorite phrases is
“No one is going to tell me what to do.”
This (we’ll call it) authority defiance has spread over time to the
realm of the family. We live in a world
where children ask regularly of their parents things like “what business is it
of yours?” As my father used to tell me,
“As long as the bill still comes to my house, it’s my business” ; a statement
that I used to brush off; that is, until my 5 year old, upon being asked what
she was doing, told me that it was none of my business a few weeks ago. I quickly responded by telling her that she
has no business that isn’t ultimately mine.
Now
I don’t want to make too much of this because ultimately these are things that
children do. Children are still growing
in their knowledge and understanding of all things, especially their Christian
faiths and how they are to conduct themselves as Christians. You see, I think that this commandment, while
pertaining to children as well, is aimed equally, if not more so, at adult
children. You see, we have twisted this
commandment in our world to instead of saying that we should honor our parents,
it basically says, “Obey your father and your mother no matter what they tell
you.” However, that is not what God is
telling Israel to do, at least not entirely.
Using the help of Jesus (Matt. 15) and Paul (Eph. 6) we could say that
this commandment is actually a command to respect, revere, obey, and when
necessary care for our parents. So yes,
obeying is part of it, but there is so much more to it than a simple blind
obedience.
As
I mentioned just a moment ago, I have personally violated this commandment
repeatedly in my lifetime. You see, I
was blessed as a child. I wanted for
nothing. My parents both worked very
hard for the well-being of our family and made sure that even when they were
exhausted, there was still time for me.
As I got a little older, I didn’t want their time. I didn’t want them as part of my daily life,
so I became angry about it. I would say
things to my parents, especially my mother, which showed them, no respect, no
honor, and no dignity. I would say
things that make me wonder how I even survived one of them not killing me to be
quite honest with you. We brush it off
and call it teenage angst, but somehow I think this was something much
more. The way in which I dishonored my
parents in my youth makes me evermore thankful for the grace and mercy of Christ
that covers our sins. It makes me
evermore thankful for the sacrifice that we remember today with the elements on
the table before us. The blood of Christ
has to power to was away all our sins no matter the severity of them.
So,
we’ve seen that this commandment is much more than a simple obedience to what
your mother and father tell you, but it is showing them honor and reverence in
the way that we talk to/about them, treat them, and care for them. However, there is another side to this
commandment that so often gets overlooked.
You see, the burden of this commandment is not always with that of the
younger generation. No, there is a
responsibility on behalf of the parents, the elders, to teach their children
how they are to go about honoring them.
Think about it for a second and it just makes sense. The way in which we learned our manners was
by being taught by someone. I can
promise you that little boys do not innately answer their mamas with “Yes
ma’am” and “no ma’am.” No, it is
something that had to be taught to them.
Well, the same is true of authority.
The world we live in today is one where parents want to be friends first
and parents second, and don’t think this is a new problem. I have many friends today who will openly
tell you that this was the case with their parents as well. So you see, if authority and submission to authority
is never learned by the younger generation, then we can’t just decide that one
day we are going to start blaming our children for not knowing something that
we were supposed to teach them and didn’t.
I know I wouldn’t want to be held responsible for not learning something
that my superior was supposed to teach me and didn’t, and neither would
you. So it’s not just about children
honoring their parents, but parents honoring their children and teaching them how
they are to live in light of the saving grace that they are made heir of
through Jesus Christ.
Now,
before we leave this text today, I need to point out one more thing and answer
a question that no doubt at least some of you are asking right now. What if your mother and/or father ask you to
do something immoral? What if your
mother or father is abusive, neglectful, or some other type of irresponsible
parent? Well, that doesn’t free you from
this commandment. As I said earlier,
this commandment isn’t a call to simple of obedience of authority. This is a commandment to show Christ through
our relationship with our parents, with our elders. Defying God’s will is not going to show God’s
grace. And just because your parents may
not have been the best parents doesn’t mean that you are not to honor
them. Like myself, there’s probably a
good chance that none of us were the ideal child as well. This commandment is primarily about the
building and strengthening of the family.
The relationship between a person and their parents is one that can have
life-shaping effects. As we’ve talked
about in our women’s Bible study on Wednesday mornings, it is possible for a
bad relationship with our earthly father to cause us issues when it comes to
our relationship with our heavenly Father.
Friends, this commandment
is God telling us that it isn’t all about us.
Remember, we said that this was the first of the six commandments
dealing with how we are to interact with others in this world. Don’t think for a second that it is a
coincidence that the commandment that deals with family and caring for our
parents is the first one. As I mentioned
just a moment ago, a right understanding of parental authority reverence, and
honor will allow us to have a right view of God’s authority, reverence, and
honor. I know that for some, maintaining
a quality relationship with your parents (or even your children) can seem like
such a laborious task, but it’s worth it.
We are commanded by God to build this family bond, and we must do all
that we can to fulfill this commandment just as we would any other. Glory be to God; in the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
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