We’ve all heard the story of the high school valedictorian who gets us on stage and thanks someone in the crowd who spoke a kind word to them years ago. The short of it is that the valedictorian, years earlier, was on his way home to commit suicide when someone spoke a kind word to him and unknowingly gave him a the courage to continue onward. It’s a wonderful story about not knowing the impact that you can have on someone around you. It may be true, or it may be completely made up, I don’t really know. However, until yesterday it was just a story for me, until it became somewhat of a reality.
As news broke yesterday about an active shooter on the campus on Delta State University in Cleveland, MS my mind immediately jumped to the events of only a few weeks ago at my alma mater Mississippi State. My first thought was that I hoped that the events at Delta State would turn out like those at MSU…no fatalities. I prayed. A little bit of time went by and then came news that there had been one fatality. I prayed. A few minutes later, I saw where it was a faculty member who was shot and killed. I prayed for his family. As the “urgency” of the situation began to fade away and as the new information stopped coming in as quickly, the day seemingly got back to normal. I really didn’t hear much more other than people supporting the university during this horrific ordeal. Things seemed to be pretty much over except for merely apprehending the suspect. Then, that’s when things got extremely real for me. I was scrolling through Facebook and saw where they had released the identity of the suspect and given a picture of him…my heart fell into my stomach.
I stared at my computer screen in my office for what felt like hours in disbelief. I was reading that a man named Shannon Lamb was wanted and that the picture was a recent one taken of him. Most of you don’t know (or at least didn’t know until yesterday) who Shannon Lamb is. However, I know him, and have for roughly 10 years. Back in 2005 I became a high school science teacher at Murrah High School in Jackson, MS. Shannon was a math teacher at that same school who taught in the classroom next to mine. We would talk almost every day during breaks between classes, lunch, and before the school day started. We taught a lot of the same kids, so we usually talked to each other about who was struggling and who was doing well…teacher stuff. However, there were moments where we talked on a much deeper level as well.
Shannon was kind of a quirky guy. He was very quiet, very nondescript, and wore a suit to work every day (actually it was either a blue suit or a gray suit that he alternated each day). He was very serious about his job and honestly one of the smartest people that I have ever known. I guess what I’m trying to say is that he seemed almost the opposite of what you would think of as someone who would ever commit these actions taken yesterday. He shared with me stories of how he was brought up with a troubled past. He came from a broken home where drugs and alcohol weren’t just present, but encouraged at an early age. He shared with me how in his past he had had his own issues with addiction and how they had wrecked his first marriage (a marriage that he said came about because he and his first wife were either drunk or high for almost their entire relationship). He had shared with me how up until a few years prior, the only things that he had ever done of any account in his life were his education and his children. He was a good father who tried his best to remain active in the lives of his children. Despite his past mistakes, he wanted to provide something for his kids that he never had…guidance. He had seemingly turned his life around and was only worried about providing for his kids and making sure that they succeeded in life.
After that one year teaching together Shannon accepted a position with Delta State because of a research grant that he had gotten. It was a position that was going to put him working between Cleveland, MS and Gautier, MS, and give him more time with his kids. He had even started dating his ex-wife once again (after she had cleaned herself up as well) and they seemed to be on a possible road to reconciliation. When I last spoke to him in May 2006, he seemed to have his life headed in the right direction. Yet, as I write this entry 9½ years later, Shannon’s life crumbled and he’s taken three lives, with the last one being his own late yesterday evening. I have no idea what happened during those 9+ years, but over the last 24 hours I have asked myself one question over and over again…“Could I have done something about this?” Now, let me state very clearly that the events of yesterday aren’t about me. I have little-to-no relationship with DSU. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about my interaction with Shannon. Did I do everything I could have to help this man out who I knew had a troubled past? The answer, quite simply, is no; no I didn’t.
As I think back upon our conversations, I realize that nowhere in there is the gospel present. It would be easy for me to defend/excuse myself and say that this was prior to my feeling called to gospel ministry, but the truth of the matter is that I was a Christian at that point in my life. It’s not just pastors or devout Christians that are to witness to others about Christ, but it’s the task given to all Christians. It’s a task that I failed at miserably in the case of Shannon Lamb. Would my speaking to him about Jesus have made any difference…who knows? Would my speaking to him about my faith or his faith have prevented the events of yesterday…maybe not? However, we’ll never know because I never spoke up.
As I said, the events of yesterday in Gautier, MS (where it is believed he killed his girlfriend before driving to Cleveland, MS to kill the DSU professor) and at Delta State aren’t about me. I’ve only stepped on that campus a couple of times and don’t have any emotional connection to it at all. The focus, as it rightly should be, is to be on helping a campus, a town, and a student body heal and recover from a horrific tragedy. However, I can’t help but think about the lasting impact that this will have upon me in my ministry and my life moving forward. Are there times that I should speak up that I will remain silent…probably. However, I can tell you that they will be few now moving forward. I no longer have to hear the story of the valedictorian to know the power of speaking up because I have the heartbreak of knowing what it feels like when you say nothing.
Please pray for the families of Amy Prentiss and Ethan Schmidt, Delta State University, the Cleveland, MS community, and the teenage children of Shannon Lamb. May Shannon’s kids no be crushed by the weight of their father’s sin, but driven to Christ instead. Also, please pray for a seminary classmate of mine, Seth Still. Seth is the RUF minister at Delta State and will be tasked with proclaiming the gospel to this group of young adults who are looking to make sense of the events that have taken place. May God speak through Seth and all other campus ministry persons to bring about his glory through disaster.
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